Commitment phobia is rooted in fear — fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. Most especially, commitment phobia is the fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, but especially relationships. And like the proverb, it’s a double edged sword: on the one hand you avoid obligations, ties, and commitments yet at the same time the commitment phobic may secretly crave the lives of those who committed and the growth that those roots produced.

Commitment phobics are the women who say, “All men are jerks,” or the men who claim, “Women are only out to get my money” – rationalisations to justify avoiding a committed relationship.

Men are generally considered more commitment-phobic than women, but recent research suggests that this might be a case of stereotyping, and that it is not necessarily a gender-specific thing.

Intimacy

However, most commitment phobic men and women truly yearn for a deep and intimate relationship leading toward marriage, but fright causes them to butcher every dating opportunity they may get. Sex outside of marriage, or promiscuous behaviour fosters a false sense of intimacy, which feels really good at the time, but is only a fabrication based on how we think we should feel when we are having sex. It is the substitution of “instant gratification” at the expense of deep, lasting satisfying soul-love.

Relationships

In romantic relationships, the paradox is that the commitment phobic craves what he/she fears most: love and connection. When we speak of commitment phobia among singles, we are referring to folks who avoid committing to long term relationships such as marriage. Previous abusive relationships, intimacy issues or traumatic childhood experiences could be causes for this kind of commitment avoidance. Another possibility is that the child might have witnessed, or been a victim of, poor role models, or even abusive relationships during those formative years. Not surprisingly, this can (consciously or unconsciously) colour the way they feel and take part in relationships as an adult, too.

Statistics show that we are happier and more well-adjusted when we are in committed relationships. According to psychologists, the commitment phobes behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships. Rather than being harmful, commitment-phobia is a healthy fear that will prevent you from jumping into new relationships before you are ready. At this point you may form temporary friendships and love relationships in order to “get your feet wet” again.

Rather than being harmful, commitment phobia may be seen as a healthy fear that will prevent you from jumping into new relationships before you are ready. Struggling against the fear of commitment often pays off because being able to share your life with someone you really care for can be wonderful.

Meanwhile, think on this: “Commitment phobia has its roots in the belief that when we love someone, we are responsible for their feelings rather than for our own.”

Whilst there are many therapies and even medications out there that may or may not be helpful, ultimately the answers lie, as always, in yourself. Knowing which buttons to press is not always obvious, however. To that end, you may like to look at my self help book “How To Love Again When Your Heart’s Been Broken.” See the resource box for details.

By: Trevor Emdon

About the Author:

Bleri asked:


i have two: Acrophobia, which is common, fear of heights.
and my not so common Catoptrophobia, fear of mirrors.

uzamakidude asked:


what causes claustrophobia?

Laura the explorer! asked:


has anyone had hypnosis performed on them to relieve any phobias?

I have an EXTREME phobia of vomit and people have told me to try many different things…but hypnosis stood out to me…

does it really work?
im really desperate as this phobia is ruining my life…i have constant headaches and just thinking of the word makes me feel sick. and then i totally freak out and cant sleep.

i havent thrown up in years but i realize that someday i am gonna get sick again and have to deal with it again so i want to get cured ASAP.
any other suggestions are welcomed

kkacey;™ asked:


like, a phobia of phobias?

There are many different types of phobias today. A phobia is a type of fear that is considered to be either excessive, or irrational in basis. In many cases, a phobia includes both an excessive and an irrational fear.

Individuals who suffer from these fears may or may not know and understand that their fear is irrational. However, if one does recognize their fear as irrational, it is still difficult to overcome it as it feels and seems very real.

The body experiences a high level of stress regarding the cause of the fear, and results in physiological and psychological responses of the body preparing itself for danger. Here, you will discover the different types of phobias today, as well as symptoms that are associated with these fears.

Common Phobias

While there are literally hundreds of different types of phobias experienced today, there are a few that are more common than others. These include phobias that are social, phobias that are considered to be specific, as well as phobia that are special or related to specific spaces and the excess or limitations of those spaces.

Individuals who suffer from these common phobia types experience not only a fear that is directly related to these phobias, but also a number of uncomfortable symptoms that can cause physiological and psychological stress on the body.

1. Social Phobia – This type of phobia is actually a type of anxiety that exists when social experiences and situations are encountered. These social situations can be as simple as those that are encountered on a daily basis. Individuals who experience this find that they are scared of others watching and passing judgments on them.

These individuals are also worried when it comes to dealing with embarrassment in public situations. Many may be fearful of to speaking in front of others, or doing other things in front of others, such as eating.

2. Specific Phobia – A specific phobia involves being fearful of a particular situation or thing. When an individual suffers from this, they tend to avoid the item or area that they have a fear of. An example of this type of phobia includes that of Arachnophobia, which is a fear of spiders.

3. Spatial Phobia – A spatial phobia involves a particular area of the amount of space present. This may include a fear of closed in spaces, a fear of open spaces, and even a fear of heights.

Common Phobia Symptoms

When an individual suffers from a phobia, there are many different types of symptoms that are prevalent when he or she comes into close contact with the source. One may constantly fear coming into contact with the source of his or her phobia at any time. Listed below are some common symptoms that may occur when an individual suffers from phobias:

1. One may feel mild to severe levels of dizziness.

2. It is common to feel a certain amount of nausea, and even experience vomiting.

3. Individuals with specific phobias may experience a feeling of “unreality”.

4. It is common to experience complications in breathing.

5. It is not uncommon to have an extreme level of fear.

There are many different types of phobias today. The most common forms are social, specific, and spatial. While phobias are basically an irrational fear of something, most individuals with the fear understand that there is no reason to have the fear. Unfortunately, the fear that is experienced by one seems very real. Symptoms that resemble that of panic are quite common when an individual experiences phobias.

By: Ian J Spencer

About the Author:

Wolfman12395 asked:

Well, even though this is an old clip, I feel like uploading it again since I just saw the cottonball lady.

Nicole asked:


I have a psychology assignment and I need to find out the expectations for the future/ where is it going for phobias. I don’t really understand the question and need help! So I guess I need to find out about future as in are more people getting phobic? Thanks!

bfjim76 asked:


I have an unusual fear of loud noises, it really sucks, balloons popping, fireworks, gunshots, etc. My life would be so much better if I could overcome this. Does anyone out there have a similar or equally strange phobia? Does anyone know how to beat it? That “face your fear” advice has never worked either..I’ve tried that numerous times!

leni asked:


This is for essay…