Commitment phobia is the fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, relationships in particular.

You may be wondering what kind of treatment is available for commitment phobia.?First the person has to want the help and be willing to work with a therapist.? The therapist or counsellor needs to determine whether or not the person truly is a commitment phobic or if there is some other personality disorder present.?If it is determined that the person truly has a commitment phobia, then the therapist and her client need to work on uncovering what triggered the problem.
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However, what is certain is that the person has a problem and that problem is feeling bad in some way, whether the feeling is labelled “commitment phobia” or not!? The good news is that it is much easier to work directly with changing a feeling than it is to go the old fashioned Freudian style of uncovering childhood traumas or skeletons in the cupboard.
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Understanding the roots of a life limiting behaviour does not necessarily alter it.?Changing the way you feel, on the other hand, always alters behaviour.?Once we have established that we can work directly with feelings, the spotlight shifts from the so-called commitment phobia itself to a completely different area: does the person with the behaviour accept that he or she actually has a problem?
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This is much trickier, especially as there are always two of you in a relationship.?The “commitment phobic” can always say – and truly believe – that he is not the one with the problem, but that there is some flaw in you that causes him to stray or run away altogether.?And if you are the one on the receiving end of that, your self confidence can take some serious blows.
It is for these reasons that I included both self esteem rebuilding strategies and a powerful process to easily change feelings in my program to mend a broken heart: “How To Trust Love Again When Your Heart’s Been Broken.”
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My advice about commitment phobia then becomes much simpler.?First, stop labelling it.?The very term “commitment phobia” or “commitment phobic” sounds like a disease, and no one likes to be labeled “diseased.”?It’s behaviour that one of you at least finds difficult.?If the person with the behaviour does not have a problem with it, then actually they are not going to change it.?We never change behaviors that feel more comfortable than the alternatives.?
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Secondly, understand that to change behaviour, you first need to change how you feel – not about each other, but inside.?It’s not difficult when you realise one thing: if you’re commitment phobic, then ironically, you are committed to the behaviour of phobia!
It sounds like a joke but it isn’t.?It is your lifeline.?Somewhere you know what it feels like to be committed to something, even if that commitment is not conscious and is not producing the outcome you desire.?Harness the feeling and you have the key to change.

By: Trevor Emdon

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If you have phobias and anxieties, you may require support to help stop fears from overtaking your life. You can use a number of different approaches to guide you to success. Any anti-fear approach can be augmented with self-hypnosis.

Phobia

A phobia is a fear that has gotten out of control. Your fright is a natural, healthy response to threatening circumstances. Your body is very effective in keeping you out of danger when it uses this emotion. The physical effects are enough to encourage you to avoid dangerous situations.

When the natural protective emotion gets out of control, it develops into a phobia. You know you have this condition if you are constantly worried about running into your source of distress. Your feelings are irrational and overwhelming.

Phobias interfere with your ability to function normally on a regular basis. You may avoid normal situations and you obsess over the fearful experiences. The very notion of facing the source of your phobia can cause you to feel great anxiety.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a response that you feel when you are overwhelmed with emotion and nervousness. Anxiousness and phobic state of mind can lead to feelings of panic that seem to come out of nowhere. The anxiety and fearful responses are all encompassing, making it seemingly impossible to control.

Treatment approaches

You can use a few different psychological interventions to help stop fears before they get out of control. Even when the fearfulness develops into a phobia, there are steps you can take to work through them. Each approach can be complemented with self-hypnosis to maximize their effectiveness.

Desensitization is a great approach for dealing with phobic and frightful responses to situations, animals and objects. This systematic approach begins with you simply picturing your source of anxiety in your mind. Gradually, you are introduced to the object of fear until you can face it without feeling anxiety.

Cognitive therapy helps you retrain the way that you think about your source of distress. This approach uses your conceptual thoughts to work through your anxiety and phobic responses. Cognitive therapy is a process that takes considerable time but it does yield excellent results.

Help Stop Fears Using Self-Hypnosis

Each approach can be augmented with self-hypnosis. This complementary approach is ideal because it supports you as you try to use your conscious mind to guide you to feelings of calm and relaxation, no matter what you face. Hypnosis creates a path to the subconscious mind.

Your subconscious is the hub of automatic responses like fearful reactions to certain situations or objects. Self-hypnosis works directly with the inner workings of your mind, easing you through your recovery process. This is the perfect complement to desensitization and cognitive therapy.

Both desensitization and cognitive therapy rely on your conscious mind to do the work. This can be counterproductive if you subconscious mind is convinced that there is reason to be fearful. Self-hypnosis can help stop fears as an augmentative approach or independently.

By: J Seymour

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